Ask a Stupid Question
by idiots rock
Summary: Oneshot Naruto decides to ask Sasuke some questions, obviously. He gets pretty good answers and discovers a few more things...sasunaru yaoi rated T for safety.


**HELLO! This is my first fanfic, and I'm not exactly a wonderful author. If I suck, then tell me I suck. I can take it **

**Disclaimer If I owned it, do you really think I'd be writing this?**

"Hey, Sasuke…"

Sasuke and Naruto had just finished training and were taking a walk over to Ichiraiku. Sasuke had agreed to go for two reasons: 1) Naruto wouldn't shut up and 2) He was hungry. Duh.

Sasuke looked up from the ground to Naruto. "Hm?"

Naruto was watching the ground as well, seeming to be deep in thought. "I was thinking…"

Sasuke raised an eyebrow. "Hoo-rah?"

Naruto ignored him and said, "There's just a bunch of questions that I can't answer…do you think you could?"

Sasuke looked almost offended. Of course he could! He was Uchiha Sasuke. He could do anything. According to himself, that is.

"So ask already."

"…If a turtle loses its shell…is it naked or just homeless?"

Sasuke stopped. He wasn't exactly expecting a question like that. And to be completely honest, he had no idea what the answer was.

"Uh…both? The shell is its home, so it's homeless. And it looks naked without it, so…"

Naruto still looked confused. He had thought that, too, but he had more questions.

" I guess…yeah, we'll just go with that answer." Sasuke looked slightly proud. They started walking again. "How about why a doctor's work is called 'practice'? Isn't that kind of scary? Like they don't really know what they're doing. They're just randomly giving you stuff or stabbing you to see if you die." said Naruto.

Sasuke stopped again. Where was Naruto coming up with these things?

"That's just what it's called. Probably another meaning for 'practice'." Sasuke seemed to be trying to convince himself as well.

"You sure?"

No. "Yes." Liar.

"Okay…how come the sun darkens our skin, but lightens our hair?"

They hadn't started walking again, so Sasuke didn't have to stop. But if they had been walking, he probably would have because these questions perplexed him so. "Probably the chemicals and crap in our skin and hair. Sunlight triggers them and causes a reaction and all that other scientific shit." Yeah. That was it.

"You're probably right." Of course he is.

"Is that all?"

Naruto shook his head. "One more." Crap. "If we can put up nude statues everywhere, why can't we run around naked?"

That's when Sasuke got this lovely mental image of Naruto running around naked. And since we all know how gay he is, he got a nosebleed.

Naruto noticed this nosebleed and became concerned. "Sasuke, you okay? You're bleeding."

Sasuke turned his head, embarrassed that Naruto saw him. "I'm fine, dobe."

Naruto glared. "Then what's the answer to my question?"

Sasuke thought for a moment. "Statues are made of stone and are purposely for artistic…things. Seeing an actual human naked is more personal and most people don't exactly like seeing someone they don't know freely revealing themselves to the public."

Naruto considered this. He decided it was good enough. He grinned. "Thanks, Sasuke!" He hugged him. "You have pretty good answers, and since I don't feel like thinking about it anymore, I'll just agree."

Sasuke would have been offended, but he was too busy focusing on the sudden closeness of their bodies. Not that he was complaining, of course.

"Yeah, whatever. Get off me, dobe."

Naruto liked the feel of Sasuke's body against his. Like hell he was letting go anytime soon. "No, I don't think I will."

Sasuke looked at him like he was insane (which he probably is). "Let go!"

"No!" He held on tighter, making Sasuke _slightly_ uncomfortable. Only slightly because he liked having Naruto all up on him. Then he stopped pushing him. Then he wondered WHY Naruto wouldn't let go. _Then_ he got this really cool idea to get Naruto off AND make himself a happy camper. Especially if Naruto went along with it.

So he kissed him.

Naruto was surprised (no shit). He just sat there for a minute. First, he wondered what the hell had just happened. Second, he decided he didn't mind what had just happened. Lastly, he returned the kiss full force. Like hell he was going to be the submissive one. He wasn't the type to give in, remember? You should know that.

Sasuke was indeed a happy camper, so he fought for dominance with Naruto. It was soon this big tongue-thrashing, teeth-bashing love fest/make-out session type thing. You just wish you were there.

Later that day, Naruto was thinking again (oh crap…). He never did get to Ichiraiku. How was it that asking a few simple questions ended with him finding a gay lover and losing his first kiss and possibly later his virginity to his best friend/rival? The world is a strange place, it is.

**AND THERE YOU HAVE IT. I'm not very proud of this, but since I took the time to write it I decided you should take the time to read it. So there. If you actually read the whole thing, then thanks! I would ask you to review, but that just gets on everyone's nerves. So I won't. But thank you for reading it anyways!**


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